My Story | Nkosi Tafari

March 1997 – New York City

My mother was in dance class when her water broke. With my love for music and moving my body to it, that explains a lot. Quite literally, music and movement and creative expression have been part of my life since day one.

My mother and my grandma are both musicians. They aren’t professionals, but they care about their craft at a professional level, have beautiful voices, and have been singing for many years. My grandmother passed singing down to my mom. My respect for all art forms – music, dance, sculpture, fashion, food – began at home.

I grew up in New York City but went to school in Long Island. Whenever school let out, I always tried to get back to the city. Even today I don't go back to Long Island much. I was mainly there because my parents thought the public schools were better. 

No two days were ever the same for me growing up. My dad lived in the city, where he worked as a chef. I was with him weekends, summers, anytime I wasn't in school. He liked to bring me with him to the restaurant where he worked. One summer I spent practically the entire time in that kitchen with my dad. That’s where my love for cooking and food took off. 

I was 14 going on 15, very young. Our apartment was on the Upper West Side, 84th Street. The restaurant was on 114th Street. We'd walk there or take the train. We’d get there around seven in the morning. He was executive head chef, so we got right to work getting ready to open. Sometimes we’d be there ‘til 10-11 at night. 

At first he had me in the basement doing prep work, peeling potatoes, cleaning lettuce, chopping things. Then I upgraded. I worked the fry station. Absolutely loved it. It was kind of a soul-food fish restaurant, so I was making fried fish, chicken wings, french fries. Eventually I worked my way up to making some grilled items, helping with to-go orders, working with the wait staff. It was one of the best summers I’ve ever had.

I still have those same restaurant habits. I'll be at home cooking with my girlfriend and I'll just eat standing up. That's the flow of working in a fast-paced restaurant. You don’t get much of a break so you just eat a couple of wings as you go and keep it moving.

After school, if I didn't have work I was usually playing some kind of sports. Soccer, basketball, track and field. In middle school I played lacrosse for a season. I always liked moving my body, competing. I preferred team sports where it's your group versus our group. I always enjoyed that.

My father and my stepfather were both very sports-oriented. My dad played basketball almost every day up until maybe five years ago. Growing up, my brother would play with him. I'd play occasionally, but after a while they’d find me on the side of the court juggling the basketball with my feet. When I did play basketball it was similar to how I play soccer, just rough and tumble, hustling, running, rebounding. I don't really care to score. Same with soccer – although I can contribute on a set piece here and there.

My mom and my stepdad didn't get home from work until maybe 8:00 at night, and my brother was always out, so I spent a lot of time by myself, walking around the city, walking around our place, watching movies, listening to music. My life is a lot like that to this day, going for walks, listening to music, being in my own thoughts.

I’m the youngest of three. I have a half sister, Krystal, she's 10 years older than me, and a brother, Marley, who's actually my cousin. He's two years older. His mom passed away at birth. My mom took him in before I was born and we were raised as brothers. He played soccer too, mainly as a centerback. He's still in New York, where he works as an academy director. 

Growing up, Marley and I were always competing because my parents had such a crazy schedule and he and I would be left alone together. I played club soccer with his teams until I was 11 or 12. I always played two years up, but it wasn’t like a choice we made. My parents just said, ‘We can't get you to two separate places at the same time so just go with him.’ I didn't mind. It probably helped in the long run.

I used to play 9 [striker] back in the day. My brother Marley was a senior in high school when I was a sophomore. We played together one year on varsity. He was the senior captain and went on to play soccer at Iona University for four years. Fun fact: when I went to UConn I made my college debut against him. I got subbed on as a 9 in that game, and I scored. Marley wasn’t marking me but he was on the scene. That was a good feeling because we were always so competitive.

I had dreadlocks for the first 15 years of my life. My dad still has them. My mom said, You gotta ask him before you cut them. He was like, I don't care. It's your hair, that’s you.

My mom cut them. She cried as she did it. I don't regret it at all. My dad said, You can always grow them back. It’s funny because he did the exact opposite. Never had dreads until he was a teenager, then grew them and has worn them ever since. Fathers and sons, man.

The summer I cut my dreads was the same summer my dad and I worked together in the restaurant in the city. That period of my life was filled with inspiration and role models who impacted me. I found a lot of inspiration from soccer players, musicians, all kinds of creative people. 

Ronaldinho was my favorite player growing up. He’s a lot of people's favorite player. He played the game with such joy. Before I cut my dreads, my hair kind of looked like Ronaldinho’s, with his long curls. I wore a hair band like him. I had his cleats, his yellow Brazil jersey, the one with the collar. I wore it until the numbers peeled off.

After high school I went to University of Connecticut without a soccer scholarship. I had never played for an academy or any of that. At the tryout they were just like, ‘This guy's pretty decent.’ 

After my freshman year there, the coach who had recruited me took a better job at a different university. The new coach was honest with all the players: “None of the players here are my players, so you should think about leaving.” I knew I was going to keep playing whether I had a scholarship or not, so I stuck around to earn a spot. I didn’t have anywhere to go, and I didn’t have many options after one year of redshirting.

My greatest strength as a player has always been my mentality. I'm not a perfect footballer – there's no such thing. But I'll put my mind up there with anybody's. There are so many guys who are talented who slip through the cracks. For me, it's not always a matter of what your body can do; it's about what your mind can do.

After what some might call three rough years, with only one year remaining I decided I would transfer. Fortunately the transfer portal was just coming into the light that year. The lady at the Compliance office told me she thought I was the first person to ever enter the portal. To be fair, I was there the minute and day it opened, so it’s possible. Then I went on the NCAA website and found all the top 50 soccer programs, and looked at their rosters to see who had one or two centerbacks graduating. Then I emailed all those schools. Some emailed back, some didn't. Seattle University found me and reached out.

I had a strong final season at Seattle, was named WAC [Western Athletic Conference] Defender of the Year, and made the coaches’ All Region first team. Even ended up being a first-round MLS draft pick. I’m convinced that all that happened because of my mindset. 

Getting drafted was a surprise. I was preparing to go on trial in the J-League in Japan. I was ready to go wherever I needed to go to chase the dream. Instead of Asia, I ended up in Dallas.

I never thought about changing my name until I began playing professionally. If I wasn't doing something where my name was literally printed on my back, it might not have mattered as much.

Early on, in Dallas, I learned you could put a different name on your shirt other than your last name. I still hadn't officially changed my name – that would come later. I just wanted to express myself and be comfortable on the pitch with my kit.

My mother had chosen my first name—Nkosi—and my father chose my middle name—Tafari. So once again my mom told me, ‘Ask your dad to see if he's OK with it.’ He was like, ‘It’s your name, your life, do what you want.’ Just like my dreads.

The name Nkosi is of South African descent. It's in the South African national anthem: Nkosi Sikelele Africa [God bless Africa]. Very popular name over there. It means king or ruler. Tafari comes from Ethiopia. It means: he who brings awe.

I enjoyed Dallas, but after five seasons, I was ready for something new. At the end of the 2024 season, and after a long period of contract negotiations, both parties felt comfortable seeking a trade. But when the new year began (2025) I was still with Dallas, flying all the way to Portugal to start the preseason. 

When we landed in Portugal it was nighttime. We went to the hotel, slept, woke up the next day, and got ready for training. As I was putting on my training top, the European wifi kicked in and I got a text from my agent saying, I don't know where you are but call me. I called and he said, ‘LAFC made the deal.’ They had not been on the radar at all. The Galaxy was the number one team for the longest time. Columbus and New York City were also in the mix. LAFC was the team that I most wanted to go to, but life doesn't always work out like that. This time it did.

My agent said, You gotta hop on a call with Steve Cherundolo, then John Thorrington. Those conversations went well, so the following day I said my goodbyes, took a three-hour Uber back to Lisbon, stayed the night, and took a 10-hour flight back to Dallas. All I had with me was FC Dallas stuff because I had planned to be in Europe for two weeks, so I stopped in Dallas and grabbed some clothes. After 23 hours of travel in less than two days, I landed in LA on January 25, 2025.

When I got here and shook Steve's hand, he smiled and said, I remember you being bigger. I said, Just give me a couple weeks. My weight fluctuates wildly in the offseason. Usually I drop ten pounds sometimes 20. After a couple weeks I was back up to my usual weight and good to go. 

LA is different from New York, of course. It's a lot more spacious, more greenery, more parks to go to. No disrespect to LA people, but I’m still biased towards New York. I will say this: LA is the second-best city in the States.

What brought me to LAFC? The fact that we pursue championships here every year is massive for me. I love what I do, but I don't do it just for fun. This is a results business. I might make friends along the way, but if I can make enemies and win trophies, I would take that over making friends and no trophies. This club is a great place to win trophies and make friends too. First and foremost, it’s a great place to win. Everything here is structured around achieving results on the field. That aligns with my purpose as a professional.

My style philosophy is simple: be different. I don't like wearing what everyone else is wearing. If I see a certain piece or a brand being worn a lot, I'll stay away from it. Second priority is wearing what's comfortable on my body. I believe in dressing myself. Some people just put on random items a stylist gives them and the clothes end up wearing the person rather than the person wearing the clothes. That’s not me.

Early on here in LA, I was known more for my style sense than my play on the field.

That changed when Aaron [Long] got hurt. You never want to see your captain, your friend, go down. I had been in similar scenarios before, where I'd been the third or fourth option, or certain coaches were unsure about my abilities or more loyal to other players. When Aaron went down, we had two other centerbacks who also just previously became unavailable [Maxime Chanot and Marlon Santos], so I was the only other option at the time. I played almost every minute of what was left of the season after that.

We all get very engulfed in the moment, but to take a step back and reflect on the journey that brought me here, I can see now all the moments where I could have gone off-course or given up. I'm incredibly grateful for where I am today, and what’s to come.